Une quiche nommée loally

Well, yes… This island is necessarily associated to paradise and holidays, but as usual, and as you know me. I’m not someone nice or grateful. Please keep reading. Don’t be scared.

If by chance, you were looking for a nice advertising of a beautiful island, please check some touristic advertising. I won’t name them, so just help yourself!

How to fly to Honolulu? Simple, but choose well your airline. It is true that Hawaï is not that far from the continent, but you have to use the national airlines.

Otherwise, if you want to pay to carry luggage, have a snack, watch a documentary or breath; you’re at the right place. Moreover; it will double your fare. You are on holidays. Just enjoy it!

Sorry. I’m mean. I’ve been offered a glass of wine and some peanuts when I was flying back to San Francisco.

And if you are American, you can even get a glass of red wine with water and have some ice added to it.

If you are French and do that, please let me know. I have a blacklist I regularly update, so if you insist…

Your arrival at Oahu? Easy. Just reach THE Shuttle Company at the airport, and wait for the drivers to call your name, among thirty other names.

People in Hawaï do not understand that you want to reach your hotel, lay out at the beach and enjoy your holidays. So keep calm and wait. F…… annoying b…..s from h…!

Yep; I kind of censored that. For those who want to have fun, just complete the blanks!

When you set in at your hotel, enjoy the view of thousands of people, walking on a touristic beach, surrounded by buildings, all modern and impersonal.

What about the population in Hawaï?

Well; a few locals get around the city but many homeless people walk around and seem to be as fed as tourists.

What is nice is that locals leave some old clothes they do not want anymore. In Paris, our guys have to check the rubbish bins and wear dirty clothes. In Hawaï; they get some clean ones! Do not neglect a homeless person way of life in Hawaï!!

By the way; you want to get some drinks on a terrasse in Hawaï? Well; that’s a little complicated… You want to have a cigarette in Hawaï?

Oh… It is not permitted to smoke at any time on this island, so if you do so: stand in front of your hotel. I f you see a cop; keep walking. Keep walking and never stop.

One last point: never cross the road in Hawaï, if the light isn’t green. Otherwise, you will have to give 200USD fine and feed those chickens with doghnuts for the rest of the year. Make your choice!

So; have a nice journey in Hawaï with Hawaian Airlines (if you’re French…because French are willing to do everything people forbids them!) and get dressed well!

Do not forget: “smoking kills”, “respect the others” and “do not hit people”.